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About sharing Since the end of apartheid - and even for some years before that - young South Africans have been free to date whoever they want. But relationships between black people and the country's Asian population remain quite rare - and the approval of parents, and grandparents, is not a given. As his mother adds garlic powder to the mopane worms frying on the stove behind him, Tumelo fidgets in his swivel chair. It's a big day. His girlfriend Ithra and her family are coming over for Saturday lunch. She's texted to say they are minutes away.


Ithra had a liberal upbringing. Ithra and Tumelo have received the news that they have secured junior doctor placements in the same hospital - over 1,km away in Cape Town.

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His wife asks me to sit next to her on the leather couch as I ask why they haven't spoken to their granddaughter for months. Ithra's family come from Cape Malay, a community of mixed-Asian ethnicities who have been in South Africa for generations. We're gonna get roasted! About sharing Since the end of apartheid - and even for some years before that - young South Africans have been free to date whoever they want.

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At first Ithra didn't know what had happened. And I think this generation, this is their problem - they'll sort it out.

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Thank you. She's texted to say they are minutes away. Approval of interracial marriage among the mixed-race and Indian communities actually fell in the 12 years to Ithra's sister Taleah emerges at the bottom of the stairs. You're not going to get, like, pizza. Throughout their friendship both have had other relationships, and both have dated outside their races before - but both feel that they received fewer stares when they had white partners.

Find out more Viewers in the UK can watch her television documentary, made with Yousef Eldin for Our World, on the BBC iPlayer "I try to explain to Ithra that my mother's resistance comes from her experience during apartheid," Ithra's loo,ing Rayana tells me the next day, from her bright airy kitchen that sits on top of a hill overlooking Joburg. Ithra and her four sisters mill around in the background, speaking over each other as they cut fruit, boil tea and flip pancakes, in an almost synchronised dance that enables them to avoid bumping into each other.

See details. Grandpa Ashraf, in a wheelchair, wears a traditional Islamic thobe and cap. There's no way she could have been allowed to bring home a man of another race she says. While she has always been supportive of her daughter dating a black guy, something suddenly afrifan different.

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She's spent the morning preparing the mopane worms, looling and chicken's feet. It sits differently. As the families sit down to eat, Tumelo's brother recites a Christian prayer. I remember being so angry with my parents and my grandparents for not doing something about it.

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The news came with a 'they'," Rayana exclaims. Born in Kenya to lookingg Indian father, Ithra moved back to her mother's home country - to Johannesburg - at the age of six. It's where she decided to stay for university and where she would meet Tumelo, who was born in the city. I always encouraged the girls to be open about everything.

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Her mother, Rayana, had actively opposed and organised against apartheid. A study by North-West University in Mahikeng showed that in only one marriage in involved people of different races, but by it had become about one in It was also the year the couple were born - which makes them part of the so-called Born Free generation. At the same time, the of interracial marriages is increasing.

And with that, two families in Joburg, on a lazy Saturday afternoon, bow their he and close their eyes to pray, with plates of biryani sitting next to a portion of mopane worms laid out in front of them.

It started with a mass exodus from the wider family Whatsapp group. It wasn't their choice not to talk, they say, it was Aafrican. Agree and Continue.

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Approval rates among white people rose ificantly over this period, though they are still more negative than others about interracial marriage. Cape Town! Would they prefer Ithra to be dating someone of her own culture?

But it was never a moment. She wants her children to have that freedom, though she doesn't want them to abandon their culture. But not everyone was ready for her relationship with Tumelo.

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As his mother adds garlic powder to the mopane worms frying on the stove behind him, Tumelo fidgets in his swivel chair. It will never go away. Rayana, overwhelmed, suddenly breaks down in tears.

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Grandpa Ashraf interjects, "No, that is being racist, actually. The coloureds one side and the blacks one side. That would have been unheard of.

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